deserving a new start... or not...

its been a while, so this will be a private blog from now on...

but anyways... i dont know why... i've always told people that long distance relationships will not work and they're fools for placing their time into a long D relationship... but for some reason one way or another, i think i'm starting to develop feelings for someone on the other side of the earth... god help me (and i dont even believe in god!!!)

its her personality that seems to be difference than all the girls here in toronto, she is very carefree and just lives life by the day... something that i've forgotten how to do, got so caught up on saving up and making money...

well i dont know whats going to happen... but even if nothing happens between us, i think she has already changed my life and the way i look at living to work, not working to live...

12 hours ahead...

HK has been a blast, eating lots and everything is cheap! some stuff are so cheap i cant believe what i see, i think i've done more shopping in these 2-3 days in HK than what i've done all year long (probably at a fraction of the money too)!!

only thing is that i wish i could have came with a few friends maybe at a different time of the year, oh wellz its still a freaking blast here even though my "friend" ditched me
been walking and shopping everyday... i actually feel tired at the end of the day! and i've never had a day where i came back empty handed =D

anyways will update soon, gotta go eat some cheap cheap food!!

starting line...

well here i am again =D

contrary to my common belief, life goes on rather normally despite the setbacks... just cruising along... i guess its even better than i thought, since now i can go on my japan trip... just the way i pictured it... or hopefully thats the case...

one thing that was recently vaulted to a top priority item is the burburry (spelling??) black label... i've heard how its exclusive in japan and this and that... checked out the collection... it was alright, nothing to really raise my eye brow at, but i'm definitely gonna stock up on some of their stuff... just so that i get the authentic idea that i've been to japan and back!!

but recently been hearing the swine flu starting up in japan... god dam... talk bout bad timing! oh wellz... nothing is stopping me this time going to japan... no even a full frontal attack from godzilla!!

cant wait till i go...but first one more hurdle, stupid exam, i'm gonna take you down!!

deciding...

how much of this should i let go?

the word everything has crossed my mind a few times... and that seems like the best option too...

well changing this entire blog is one small step in the right direction...

grasp...

you hear it often, a lot of people say this, but you don't realize the power of a second chance when it falls into your lap... there are certain things that you only get one shot at, and sometimes if you're lucky you get a second chance to re-do something, maybe re-do it in a different way and by doing so, a different result will happen.

the first time it happened, there were too many stones left unturned, too many questions still ambiguous, just too many loose ends... so thats where the second chance comes in... gotta make sure that all ties are cut loose so that theres no ambiguity.

in this second chance, everything will be let go of, for good... and it doesn't matter how long it takes to do so, but it will need to be done, because second chances only come so often... and as for this, there are only special moments where certain special items can be released, if we miss these moments, we'll end up holding on to these things for much longer... therefore i've held on for long enough, spent enough time and energy on this issue, if the old doesnt go, the new will not come

time to reach out and grasp this chance and hold on tight

___________________________________________


changing the blog name from "cheers, optimism, regrets and apologies" to "lost and found, and lost again"

cause and effect...going solo

well... found out about some news today... i guess when you do something, then you need to know whats going to follow ... hence cause and effect...

i guess this is it... i'm finally gonna nail down my jap trip... probably gonna see if my uncle wants to tag along... it'd be nice to chill with him, since currently he has some time off... so i'll probably see if i can get him to check out what tours are available from the 25th to the 29th... mayb go for a week or something =D

cant wait !! already exchanged the currency and everything... too bad i got it at a bad time... or else it would make this trip that much better...

please don't be mad at me for ditching you... i cannot change the past... but what i can do is make sure i dont make the same mistake again in the future... i hope i gave you enough time along of time... if anything you have the right to be mad at me, and if u feel u need to, then go ahead... because i cannot stand what i have done or will do to you...
I will treasure you forever, i wish you all the happiness in the world, and if that is not enough i will give you my happiness with open arms...
in the end, i cannot keep the pinky promise and that makes me a liar

your friend, if you choose to be so

same place, different location...

well for the this entire week i'm in training... so no stress from work until i actually get back...

but yah... met up with a frd i met in a previous training, and we went for ramen on yonge and steeles... which was definitely really good, first time going for ramen, but this place set the standards pretty high (at least everyone tells me that place is good) and i thought it was pretty good too, but i'm expecting the ramen in japan in blow this place out of the water!!

well then afterwards i insisted to driver her home...cuz i wanted to go for a drive too and that gave me an excuse... well drove all the way to mississauga, was gonna come back to markham to go study, but then she suggested that we should study together... haha =P well i thought it'd be nice to get a change of environment for my studying... so i studied in mississauga, but it was a tim hortons in mississauga... so at least i got that =D

i actually got quite a bit of studying done, but i think she was just mostly sms-ing hahaha but its sometimes nice to have company for studying, allows for the occasional chat...

really going to be studying super hard non-stop for the up coming remainding weeks... need to ace this...

and in addition... my interviewer called me back... i missed her call, but i'll call her back tmr... i want to get posted... but not there, just too many horror stories... but oh well... need to get posted sooner or later... just try my best i guess...