deserving a new start... or not...

its been a while, so this will be a private blog from now on...

but anyways... i dont know why... i've always told people that long distance relationships will not work and they're fools for placing their time into a long D relationship... but for some reason one way or another, i think i'm starting to develop feelings for someone on the other side of the earth... god help me (and i dont even believe in god!!!)

its her personality that seems to be difference than all the girls here in toronto, she is very carefree and just lives life by the day... something that i've forgotten how to do, got so caught up on saving up and making money...

well i dont know whats going to happen... but even if nothing happens between us, i think she has already changed my life and the way i look at living to work, not working to live...

12 hours ahead...

HK has been a blast, eating lots and everything is cheap! some stuff are so cheap i cant believe what i see, i think i've done more shopping in these 2-3 days in HK than what i've done all year long (probably at a fraction of the money too)!!

only thing is that i wish i could have came with a few friends maybe at a different time of the year, oh wellz its still a freaking blast here even though my "friend" ditched me
been walking and shopping everyday... i actually feel tired at the end of the day! and i've never had a day where i came back empty handed =D

anyways will update soon, gotta go eat some cheap cheap food!!

starting line...

well here i am again =D

contrary to my common belief, life goes on rather normally despite the setbacks... just cruising along... i guess its even better than i thought, since now i can go on my japan trip... just the way i pictured it... or hopefully thats the case...

one thing that was recently vaulted to a top priority item is the burburry (spelling??) black label... i've heard how its exclusive in japan and this and that... checked out the collection... it was alright, nothing to really raise my eye brow at, but i'm definitely gonna stock up on some of their stuff... just so that i get the authentic idea that i've been to japan and back!!

but recently been hearing the swine flu starting up in japan... god dam... talk bout bad timing! oh wellz... nothing is stopping me this time going to japan... no even a full frontal attack from godzilla!!

cant wait till i go...but first one more hurdle, stupid exam, i'm gonna take you down!!

deciding...

how much of this should i let go?

the word everything has crossed my mind a few times... and that seems like the best option too...

well changing this entire blog is one small step in the right direction...

grasp...

you hear it often, a lot of people say this, but you don't realize the power of a second chance when it falls into your lap... there are certain things that you only get one shot at, and sometimes if you're lucky you get a second chance to re-do something, maybe re-do it in a different way and by doing so, a different result will happen.

the first time it happened, there were too many stones left unturned, too many questions still ambiguous, just too many loose ends... so thats where the second chance comes in... gotta make sure that all ties are cut loose so that theres no ambiguity.

in this second chance, everything will be let go of, for good... and it doesn't matter how long it takes to do so, but it will need to be done, because second chances only come so often... and as for this, there are only special moments where certain special items can be released, if we miss these moments, we'll end up holding on to these things for much longer... therefore i've held on for long enough, spent enough time and energy on this issue, if the old doesnt go, the new will not come

time to reach out and grasp this chance and hold on tight

___________________________________________


changing the blog name from "cheers, optimism, regrets and apologies" to "lost and found, and lost again"

cause and effect...going solo

well... found out about some news today... i guess when you do something, then you need to know whats going to follow ... hence cause and effect...

i guess this is it... i'm finally gonna nail down my jap trip... probably gonna see if my uncle wants to tag along... it'd be nice to chill with him, since currently he has some time off... so i'll probably see if i can get him to check out what tours are available from the 25th to the 29th... mayb go for a week or something =D

cant wait !! already exchanged the currency and everything... too bad i got it at a bad time... or else it would make this trip that much better...

please don't be mad at me for ditching you... i cannot change the past... but what i can do is make sure i dont make the same mistake again in the future... i hope i gave you enough time along of time... if anything you have the right to be mad at me, and if u feel u need to, then go ahead... because i cannot stand what i have done or will do to you...
I will treasure you forever, i wish you all the happiness in the world, and if that is not enough i will give you my happiness with open arms...
in the end, i cannot keep the pinky promise and that makes me a liar

your friend, if you choose to be so

same place, different location...

well for the this entire week i'm in training... so no stress from work until i actually get back...

but yah... met up with a frd i met in a previous training, and we went for ramen on yonge and steeles... which was definitely really good, first time going for ramen, but this place set the standards pretty high (at least everyone tells me that place is good) and i thought it was pretty good too, but i'm expecting the ramen in japan in blow this place out of the water!!

well then afterwards i insisted to driver her home...cuz i wanted to go for a drive too and that gave me an excuse... well drove all the way to mississauga, was gonna come back to markham to go study, but then she suggested that we should study together... haha =P well i thought it'd be nice to get a change of environment for my studying... so i studied in mississauga, but it was a tim hortons in mississauga... so at least i got that =D

i actually got quite a bit of studying done, but i think she was just mostly sms-ing hahaha but its sometimes nice to have company for studying, allows for the occasional chat...

really going to be studying super hard non-stop for the up coming remainding weeks... need to ace this...

and in addition... my interviewer called me back... i missed her call, but i'll call her back tmr... i want to get posted... but not there, just too many horror stories... but oh well... need to get posted sooner or later... just try my best i guess...

ups and downs...

well had my interview on friday... did alright i guess.. i was pretty glad that i finally got it over with when i stepped out of those doors

the next day, i went back to work to study... thats when i heard it.. the boss there is insane... and then my interviewer called me for references... and my boss told me that at that point they're very likely to hire you... sigh... these 2 news brought my day to an instant stop... what i originally thought to be good news had been turned inside out

took me a while, but then i figured out you cant always have a nice boss, there are plenty bad ones out there, and i just got lucky that my current one is really nice... so i guess i'm going to be dealing with it, but having said that, i'm not even sure if i'm going to get that job or not... so i'll just take a wait and see approach and see how things go from here on... but if i happen to be able to get that poisition, i'll just tough it out.. just try my best and if that insane boss wants to go insane on me, then i'll just let her do her thing and be on my way.

crossing fingers for tmr...and beyond

well its odd to have an entry on a thurs night, but i guess its because i'm having an interview for a permanent placement... at the liberty hsbc...

i did some research today while i was at work, and i think this is actually a really neat branch, and there are several things i like about it. too bad the people that i know from this branch is no longer there, but i do think that it'd be a nice place to work at, even considering that people have been telling me that the branch manager is a tough one!

so theres going to be a interview for tmr... part of me is worried... part of me not so much, maybe i'll be able to pull off a bs festival tmr during the interview or maybe i'll spend most of the day tmr at work preparing for it or something, who knows... but i do plan to prep myself at least a little bit before i head in instead of jumping right in gung ho style...

did some studying out tonight, despite the intense rain, kinda making sure that i'm discipline in that area, or else it'd be too late because i know that the coming weeks will have a lot of stuff happening so may not be able to get into complete studying mode.

also tmr is gg's delayed bday dinner, we're having sushi buffet... again1!! been pushing to go for something new and fresh, but its not my call so its all good, i guess you cant really go wrong with sushi buffet... unless the sushi goes wrong...=P

anyways, gonna be a pretty busy few wks for me before i get to hop on that plane for my trip, so just gotta keep the foot on the peddle and make sure i dont let go!

weee.... next stop!!!

ahh... feels like a big rock has been lifted from the top of my head! =D

well i thinki will be back posting on this blog... but with a small change, gonna switch up the name now... just need a change for the title but still thinking... kinda tough... want something nice, but i'll keep this one for now and i also made some minor adjustments :D well done !

next stop please, moving forward!

truthfully its so good to finally be posting again =D

a tough call...

*edited*


shhh...... keep your voices down!!

today after i did my laundry, i did a quick clean up of my room and i found a letter, i think the letter was from a LONG LONG time ago, maybe even within the first yr that i met you. it was nice reading it, made a lot of memories come back (again), but also made me realize some other things too...

well its been in my head for the past week or so... what should i do? but thats the problem with Gemini... all they do is think, and for once i need to do more than just thinking. i know i keep telling people you dont know until you try, but then i also know its much harder to take your own advice, but i'll do it this time. i'll try to let go, and what i told you during my trip (during the name of the card game) is still true, but i think i need to try to just keep it at that, the level of our companionship... i hope you remember what i told you that night, because i remember 99.3% of what you said, and it'll be etched into my memory along with a lot of other stuff thats already there... my memory is already really packed, but theres plenty of room for more, and hopefully there will be plenty more too

I know its hard... just a little bit more =D

the past few weeks seems to have been extra long without talking to you to lift up my day... but i guess i'll need to get used to that, cant always be so selfish, need to sum up the courage to make a decision, at least try to move on... and if i cant then its too bad for me

but i will try this way, and hopefully i'm strong enough to go through with it... you were/are/will be special to me, but maybe just wrong timing

maybe i'll be strong enough or maybe i'll just be waiting quietly...who knows...but the other blog will be paused temporarily, until i can find what i need to



thanks

because sometimes we just talk too much... and we dont appreciate the silence...

all decisions are tough...

keeping me awake...

well just cant quite seem to sleep tonight... just so many things keeping me up... cant quite put my finger on it, but whatever it is, its working too well =(

6 day work week.... sorta...

well after a hectic week at work (since i'm covering for someone's vacation) the weekend finally comes... like a gentle cool breeze in the summer... then suddenly it turns into a hurricane because i'm going to my workplace on saturday !!! well to study... but yes... i'm gonna focus all my energy on work and study... enough play!!

add OIL!!

be happy!

just lotsa work today... god dam work just seems to come outta no where and at the worst possible time too... (like right before the day's over)

just read your blog... like the title of your blog... its just things that you think about... so just put it out there, because no one can judge you on anything that you say =D especially on your own blog!

so dont be afraid!! and if anything i got your back! support you 130%!!

*hopefully you'll lose the clueless feeling soon, because i was pretty bummed a week back or so, just write it out and you'll feel better... it worked for me at least =D *

Doesnt the day go by much faster if you're happy? =D

experimenting on sunday!

well i'm trying to dedicate every sunday to just making some food and spend more time with my family... so sunday is truely a family day =D

today was experimenting with some pork bone soup, and was cutting up some onions, i didnt realize that it was true that cutting onions can make you cry!! well didnt cry, but could feel the tears a little bit.. =D

i know its the last day of ur trip =D hope u had a great time and everything between you and him works out ok... just know that deep down u want to see him and he wants to see you too! =D

enjoy your day.. goh goh =)

you are my sunshine, my only sunshine...=D

well as it seems like i'm going to have to borrow your favourite song... i dont know, it been playing itself in my head for most of the day...

today is good friday! so i was able to stay home and just relax and rest a little bit... which is much welcomed for sure. originally planned to go sing k today, but didnt end up happening because too many people flew airplane in the last minute, that actually turned out better because i was able to get a afternoon nap!! never knew that afternoon naps can be so good!

well i'm feeling not too bad today, more on the good side than bad... so hopefully the sun is shining for you today as well, because like my one and only sunshine, you make me happy and i hope you are happy too =D

small surprises...

well i was in the middle of work when suddenly my phone went off (in silent mode) it was a nice little message from someone across the atlantic... it was a nice surprise, lifted my day just enough =D

thanks! but dont waste ur sms on me silly =P i know its expensive, i wasnt expecting any replies anyways =P

rmb to keep in touch with other ppl here too!! i'm sure they're waiting to hear from you =D

follow...

it was good tonight that i finally got to chill with the guys (well partially alan, alex and gk) so it was nice to chat and blow water with everyone, it seems like its been forever since i've done that. it was nice to see what was happening with everyone's life and just to chit chat without having to worry about what i say or offend anyone, felt really free to speak my mind =D

but for some reason i wasnt able to voice part of what i wanted to tell... something that i just wanted to tell anyone about... although it was really nice that i was listening to everyone else and the things that were happening and going on with them, all i could think of was someone on the continent across the atlantic =(

i actually hypothetically asked one of my colleagues for some random advice, she told me that in these situations its best to just isolate myself from whatever is causing me to be so "law law luun" and that i'm still experience a holiday hangover and if i continue to do this i'll be the one that will end up feeling worse. i think theres some truth to that piece of advice, but then i just dont think i'll be taking those advice, maybe because i am stubborn =D

somehow i find myself following your blog more frequently now... i dont know... maybe i just wanna know more about you? because in the end, maybe we're more mysterious than we thought...

U turn.... sorta..

well was recently in a mini-slump... i guess thats what happens when you've been having such a great time for a short period of time, then you head back to reality then it suddenly hits you that reality is like...this*...

but with my struggles to cope with reality, i'm just trying to use work and study to see if i can get my mind of things... because thinking only leads to me thinking about how crappy this reality is...

so hopefully this is the beginning of my turnaround... a 180 degree from this slump and hopefully back on the positive side =D

so gotta start studying... no time for games and such :P

just reading...

like i said in my last blog entry, i was reading your previous entries today...

sigh... i just realized how much misery i brought to you... how come i cant just bring you happiness instead =( why do i make life that much harder and that much more drama for you... you said that you want a simple life with less drama... so what have i done =(

i have brought you nothing but drama that you dont need... if only nothing happened between us, then you'd be moving along in your relationship happily, although i truthfully cant say that you and him would be much more happier if i didnt re-enter your life, but at least you would not have anyone to compare him to

ahh... but having said that... i cant let it go... whether or not what happens, i cant bring myself to forget what i have in my heart... please help me, i want you to be happy, but i have to selfishly say that i want to be happy too... argg... see how horrible i am.

you also had another entry saying that you never tell anyone to wait for someone in another relationship, all i have to say is that i am very stubborn, i dont listen to advice that well...

please allow me to be selfish and dont hate me for it... or maybe you can hate me... hate me that i m ruining what you have... hate me that i've caused you this unnecessary drama, i dont know what i'm saying anymore

i always say i just want you to be happy, but i keep ruining that happiness that you've gathered... i too am a liar and selfish...

sorry


*i apologize for this depressing entry, but i've currently entered this slump... hopefully i'll eventually pick myself up*

going back...

ahh... just cant seem to find anyone to talk about the way i feel right now =( trying to figure out how to get out of this slump... i find myself reading your past entries on your blog... there was one where you listed the memories that you had with us together...but there was one that stood out for me for our memories......

there was one time... a LONG time ago, almost back to when we first met. there was a time when i was just surfing the internet (or doing something)) on my computer. out of the corner of my eye i thought i saw a black car drove by, then the first thing i thought of was you, then i decided to to give you a call... it turns out that it was you. i called you, then i totally forgot what happened afterwards...

i dont know, at that time i felt like we were really spiritually connected for that one moment... i dont know why at that time i felt that there was something special...

that alone is one of the most special memories that i have with you

i really want you to know what i thought was a special moment between us too

instant distance...

sigh... got back to real life today... everything seems to take longer today for some strange unknown reason

missed having you around, missed the food you cooked, missed the funky alarm, missed fixing your cover when you are sleeping, even missed us getting mad at each other...

today just felt like a big chunk of me was left behind in switzerland... call me crazy, but i was reading your older blog entries today, just because i wanted to feel as though we are a little bit closer than we are now...

like i told my zebra friend, once you get the taste, even a sample of soemthing, going on without it seems that much harder...

dont know if i make any sense now, combination of fatigue and wendys is bad combo...

over the atlantic i go..

good byes are sad... even with prospect of meeting up with you soon... (as in 2 months) but i dont want to be selfish... and i know that you really want to go to greece... and with both marias going in june... if you choose to go to greece in june i won't blame you... since i just want you to be happy but just lemme know what your decision is ... =D either i'll understand cuz i'm such an understanding person hahaha i know i'm the best *wink*

well i'm back in toronto now, the only thing i could think of was to have this entry into my blog... i'll keep this blog only for you, and i'll make another blog for the general public

i know you've seen me smile for no reason a lot of the time during my stay, but i smile because i see something that i consider as perfection...thank you for making me smile....

sigh... today was really sad... like i said... i hate good byes and when i was listening to my iphone, when we were landing in toronto, i heard the song *yao ghon ching* by leo ku then suddenly i felt tears rushing to my eyes... it took me a while to realize the reason why i was so sad is because i was unconsciously listening to the music and how it says that friendship is forever... altho i am really happy that we are best friends... but part of me is extremely sad because moving forward our relationship is best friends + gorgor... i guess i need to be less selfish... and think about others too

i guess the tears will eventually stop flowing when i learn to fully accept this relationship between us... me as your gorgor...

but until then... altho i'm happy to see you and hear your voice, but everytime i hear those 2 words, my hearts feels like another stab.. although this is the first time u know this, dont let this change anything, continue calling me gorgor... because i need to learn to accept it...

thank you for understanding...

and i will post the pictures with u in them on this blog... so that u can get them...

*************************************************************************************

changing name back... to Apologies, Regrets, Cheers and Optimism =P








sorry if the picture quality is only so so

change for the better?? / Relegation

officially changing my blog from :

Apologies, Regrets, Cheers and Optimism

to

Writings in the sky

(need time to think of something better, cause i just pulled that outta my ass =D, might change it to something more meaningful next time )



______________________________________________________________________



so this is how it feels like to sent to the minors...

(dam this actually sucks, i guess you control whats in your power and let other things fall into place) =P

ahh..... i need new glasses??

sigh... just when i thought i turned the corner, it just hit me again...

hindsight is 20/20... but my foresight sucks like hell =(((

ahh... why does my foresight suck so much =((((( who and where do i go to get a better prescription.... sigh...where can i go to stop making stupid decisions

gahhhh wanna exchange summer for autumn.... =P (just me being too greedy)



SOS!!!!!

today is different from yesterday

things change... its just a matter if the change is temporary or permanent...







will provide MEGA post when back to canada =D

long way from home...precisely 8hrs and 30mins of flight to la SWISS

so here i am... half way around the world and just beginning to set into the things around me... so many things are different over here, almost to the point where i was surprised to see things that were similar, like how the cars were driven on the left hand side, how similar the supermarkets look and snow =D haha

speaking of which, its definitely cooler on this side.. a different kind of cold from toronto.. but its nice...

now the people here are completely different, maybe its just my perception that i'm at a different location and i perceive them to be different, but the thing is that they seem more sophisticated and not very north american like hahaha

will update when i hv new thoughts =D

just blurbbing...

OMGGGG i've been having this urge to buy a car recently... =( its soooo bad because i need to save up for more important stuff ... but its so tempting, been visiting car dealer sites almost everyday... kind of torn between thinking about getting a used car or a new car... people are telling me to go for a new one, but i think i can get a better bang for my bucks with a used one

i guess i just need to be patient about it... hopefully i'll be able to get the car in 2 yrs =( it seems soooooo long, but then i just keep telling myself that i'll buy it straight out instead of financing...ahh.... i think all guys go thru this phase of wanting a car but cant afford one hahaha so its normal =D

and i've planned out the bones of my euro-trip... so hopefully the details will fall into place soon... cant wait... my friend also advise me that i should learn at least a few words of german... maybe i'll get some under my belt when i have the chance... =D

words kept..

going back to my previous post 11 days ago...

its definitely hard... but i'm sticking to the decision i made 11 days ago... somehow i feel rather relaxed and less weighed down =D i guess i just intuitively prefer things more relaxed, cant help it, just who i am =D

bruised...

played bball on friday night... it was good exercise and everything... didn't play too well tho, was too passive... and i ended up with a strain finger =( hopefully it heals up before i play on weds with people from work

here and gone...

well yet another valentines weekend by myself =D actually this yr's valentines day was actually on a wkend, so i guess the couples will be extra busy this wkend

just came back from grabbing a drinks with the peeps, it was good, chatted like we've just seen each other yesterday, but they went to the car show today and it was pretty cool, there was a lot of pictures to share and it was actually not that bad... oh wellz maybe i'll go next yr =D

went to the place at market village for the drink, it was pretty good, their drinks were not bad, but they do replay the songs there haha, but their songs are pretty good, so i'll give them that!

it was good to webcam, and your hair wasn't messy at all, i wouldnt have noticed it if you didnt say anything about it, but even after you mentioned it, i thought it was alright... but i think i'm more used to seeing your hair down...=P

tmr is family day, so probably going to niagara falls to hang out with family (altho we've been there like 7.4 million times!!!) so i'm guessing i'd be out for pretty much the entire day...so =(

the lightbulb...

when it goes on... you have an idea or a solution!!

and i've just got a lightbulb... so here we go! lets do it!

selfish is relative...

as confused as i am now, there are some important choices that i may need to make...

nothing is set in stones yet, but if i leave... things will be better, for everyone, and you 2 can be happy again.

so here i am thinking... because thinking is all i can do... maybe i'll be brave or smart or generous enough to make the decision when i wake up tomorrow.

你們要快樂 要緊緊牽手
你們不幸福 我會難過

*i know i'm cheating by copying and pasting from my last entry, but this sentense has been sub-consciously repeating itself in my head for the entire day*

maybe the Gemini cannot be stable when it comes to relationships... because when it comes to anything relationship related, i lose my sense of judgement, logic, and my ability to judge right from wrong... and therefore hurting people around me. maybe being by myself is the right solution to the wrong problem...

=) *smile and keep walking, no matter how hard the path, because i don't want you to see me sad*

hmmm.... can't seem to sleep just yet, maybe because i've accidentally stumbled across and i just can't help but putting it on repeat... it seems like some things are clear and some times are not so clear, but i will walk the direction which my heart tells me to...just smile and keep walking no matter which direction it is, isn't that the way life should be?

你哭著拿下銀手鍊還我的時候
最近你躲我有了理由
別說我的愛讓你慚愧不配擁有
珍惜不就是溫柔

但你說抱歉愛上了我的好朋友
原來心酸比心痛難受
茫然的走到了門口倔強還是念舊
我聽見我回頭說

你們要快樂 要天長地久
你們沒有錯 愛是自由
走出這扇門後 至少我還有遼闊

你們要快樂 要緊緊牽手
你們不幸福 我會難過
成全最愛的人 不是為了看著他寂寞

過去曾讓你笑得很甜
不代表有權利要你糾結
雖然遺憾愛情也有它的季節
風不能吹 就作最瀟灑的落葉

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIN7qyVtdm4&NR=1

Special thanks

been in one of my bummed out states recently... especially the couple of days after she left, but been actually talking to several ppl about it, and it made it better... so special thanks to the ppl i've bothered with my bs recently =D

you dont know it, but i'm grateful i talked to you guys =D

with the windows opened....

so today was friday, and i was able to get some basketball in, didn't know if it was a good idea though, because yesterday when i went swimming i felt my left calf cramping up, but need to get some basketball in! it turns out that my left calf was fine, after i did some stretching to warm myself up, but then my right calf was the one that gave me a hard time, i guess i should stretch more thoroughly next time.

on the way home from bayview and 16, i found myself going north to major mac without even realizing it, and i drove really slow when i passed the walmart, i guess sometimes memories are especially good if you hold on to them not too tightly.

then i went south on leslie, it felt just like yesterday when we took these routes together, with us trying to guess that miriam song (which i have yet to figure out) so fun...just driving along and having a good time. i even thought about going all the way to 19th, but i was too tired from ball, so just went down to hwy7 and went home...

it was a good and refreshing drive, and all along i had the window slightly opened, just to make sure that the winter air kept me from reminescing too deep, but its good sometimes to take a random stroll down memory lane, it helps me remember what i have right now and keep things in perspective....

nothing beats cruising down on an empty street in the middle of the night... well i guess having you there makes it that much better =D

separated...

today... even when i woke up, it didn't feel like just another day, although i knew why i was feeling that way, but i couldn't put my finger on what was wrong... so i just treated it just like another day...

after talking on the phone with you... then it suddenly hit me...after this day, you'll be gone, no longer can i just call you up and drive to walmart to chill or come out for dessert... i can't do that anymore...

today it felt like my spirit like it was separated from my body, couldn't really focus on anything that i was doing, like my mind was somewhere else... almost cut my own finger when making food... but for some strange reason i didn't want this feeling to go away... maybe because i'm afraid that if and when this feeling goes away, i'll be letting go of something... something that i don't want to let go...

thinking back... it felt like that the best time i've had in a long time was in an empty room with you... doing nothing at all...

only time will tell...

*too many typos in this entry... took me forever to make sure my fingers were typing out the words i wanted...


在你的房间内面, 时间停下来. 感觉很好, 不想离开.

WO and FT

in the chinese zodiac, there are 12 animals, and there are 5 different properties that each animal can belong to wood, metal, earth, fire and water...

oxes are generally not the most intelligent, but they are hard working and loyal... especially the wooden ox, while they are hard working, they do not have the needed characteristics to be a natural leader...

tigers are aggressive and active, however they can be demanding to a certain extent, especially if the people around them are unable to keep up with their active ways... the fire tiger is active to a greater extent

the sad part is that the 2009 yr is extremely bad for the Ox and has been given unlucky stars for all the possible categories in life... long and tough road ahead... *insert McDonald theme music*

LHW

Life of a domino....

standing steadily in line... not being able to see past the block in front of you... but when you get tired from standing up so long, you want to lean on something... something solid, something stable... but whether you expected it or not, the block next to you begin to tumble...

so thats how it feels to not be able to depend on something...up close it may seem like a mad scramble with no direction or final goal, but from far in the distance it may seem like a perfectly choreographed sequence that was executed to perfection with

I'm sorry i gave into the domino effect...

COL

just reading....

ummm just read a "blog" out there... i saw that the chinese zodiac was referred to as the chinese horoscope... so just to clarify its zodiac =D

i hope you called tonight... you know what i mean... i just want to see a good ending... i will stay tuned and not change the channel...

the empty room...

what is happiness? is it something that you can grasp with your hands and hold on to? or is it an elusive idea that's been planted into our heads and only eluding us in the very last minute? maybe happiness is not for everyone, or maybe happiness is only for people who are brave enough to go and grab it... but how will you know when you actually have it? how will you know how long you'll have it for? how do you know how you'll feel when it goes away?



when do you know if something is worth everything in a gamble...what if you lose everything in the gamble? is it still worth it?



all i know is that, when you hold happiness in your hands, you'll never want to let go, and as much as you want time to stop, it speeds up and the moment passes you by. But the moment is already etched into your memories forever... next thing you know, happiness will live in the memories, hoping to have the chance to hold it once more

*you are the best... no one will come close* =(

dam pot-holes!!!

driving in toronto during the winter should be listed as one of the most dangerous things... with ice, snow, crazy drivers and POT HOLES!!! those mf'ers are a pain in the ass... avoiding them would lead to somewhat of a dangerous driving behaviour, but putting your car thru them is probably even worse!! first hand experience tonight... 1 pothole = goodgame...

need to go figure out if the tire is still salvagable or else thats gonna be probably $80 to buy me a single tire LOL...

good night tho, would have been great if it wasnt for the pot holes =D

thought of the day...(or week)

the soda that is not opened will always taste the best...

somehow it just seems to apply to so many different things, the more i think about it, the more true it seems...

2009!!! since when did trading 1 hr and 20 mins for 5 minutes make sense? only on new years eve!!

omg can't believe its already 2009!! (although the clock on this computer confirms what i couldn't believe) but 2008 was a wild and crazy ride, the craziness stems from a couple of sources, being the year that i graduate and finally took my first step into "real life" despite entering the "real life" i'm still trying to keep it real and live and call it like it is !

the night kick started by heading out to this korean restaurant which was pretty neat, and definitely gave my spicy tastebuds a workout, having said that i salute the brave souls who ordered the "extra spicy" items on the menu. I think i've found my fav korean dish, it was a spicy and sour grilled chicken... its definitely got a zing to it!

well finally figured we oughta head down to nathan phillips square for a count down of some sort, although we arrived 1.5hrs prior to midnight, the wait was long and tiredsome, but we managed to tough it out and it seems as tho the section of the crowd we were in was in a count down-ish mood, so all we had to do was play along! as for myself i didnt really get into things up until the 3 minute mark, then it was non-stop jumping, cheering and whatever you can do it enjoy the moment!! (although i may have gone overboard when the ladies beside me couldnt really take a picture cuz i was going nuts, my apologies =D)


but all in all it was definitely worth it, the going home part was actually less hectic than what i thought it'd be and we spent some time chilling at one of my frd's house

overall definitely a good way to kick start 09!