words kept..

going back to my previous post 11 days ago...

its definitely hard... but i'm sticking to the decision i made 11 days ago... somehow i feel rather relaxed and less weighed down =D i guess i just intuitively prefer things more relaxed, cant help it, just who i am =D

bruised...

played bball on friday night... it was good exercise and everything... didn't play too well tho, was too passive... and i ended up with a strain finger =( hopefully it heals up before i play on weds with people from work

here and gone...

well yet another valentines weekend by myself =D actually this yr's valentines day was actually on a wkend, so i guess the couples will be extra busy this wkend

just came back from grabbing a drinks with the peeps, it was good, chatted like we've just seen each other yesterday, but they went to the car show today and it was pretty cool, there was a lot of pictures to share and it was actually not that bad... oh wellz maybe i'll go next yr =D

went to the place at market village for the drink, it was pretty good, their drinks were not bad, but they do replay the songs there haha, but their songs are pretty good, so i'll give them that!

it was good to webcam, and your hair wasn't messy at all, i wouldnt have noticed it if you didnt say anything about it, but even after you mentioned it, i thought it was alright... but i think i'm more used to seeing your hair down...=P

tmr is family day, so probably going to niagara falls to hang out with family (altho we've been there like 7.4 million times!!!) so i'm guessing i'd be out for pretty much the entire day...so =(

the lightbulb...

when it goes on... you have an idea or a solution!!

and i've just got a lightbulb... so here we go! lets do it!

selfish is relative...

as confused as i am now, there are some important choices that i may need to make...

nothing is set in stones yet, but if i leave... things will be better, for everyone, and you 2 can be happy again.

so here i am thinking... because thinking is all i can do... maybe i'll be brave or smart or generous enough to make the decision when i wake up tomorrow.

你們要快樂 要緊緊牽手
你們不幸福 我會難過

*i know i'm cheating by copying and pasting from my last entry, but this sentense has been sub-consciously repeating itself in my head for the entire day*

maybe the Gemini cannot be stable when it comes to relationships... because when it comes to anything relationship related, i lose my sense of judgement, logic, and my ability to judge right from wrong... and therefore hurting people around me. maybe being by myself is the right solution to the wrong problem...

=) *smile and keep walking, no matter how hard the path, because i don't want you to see me sad*

hmmm.... can't seem to sleep just yet, maybe because i've accidentally stumbled across and i just can't help but putting it on repeat... it seems like some things are clear and some times are not so clear, but i will walk the direction which my heart tells me to...just smile and keep walking no matter which direction it is, isn't that the way life should be?

你哭著拿下銀手鍊還我的時候
最近你躲我有了理由
別說我的愛讓你慚愧不配擁有
珍惜不就是溫柔

但你說抱歉愛上了我的好朋友
原來心酸比心痛難受
茫然的走到了門口倔強還是念舊
我聽見我回頭說

你們要快樂 要天長地久
你們沒有錯 愛是自由
走出這扇門後 至少我還有遼闊

你們要快樂 要緊緊牽手
你們不幸福 我會難過
成全最愛的人 不是為了看著他寂寞

過去曾讓你笑得很甜
不代表有權利要你糾結
雖然遺憾愛情也有它的季節
風不能吹 就作最瀟灑的落葉

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIN7qyVtdm4&NR=1

Special thanks

been in one of my bummed out states recently... especially the couple of days after she left, but been actually talking to several ppl about it, and it made it better... so special thanks to the ppl i've bothered with my bs recently =D

you dont know it, but i'm grateful i talked to you guys =D

with the windows opened....

so today was friday, and i was able to get some basketball in, didn't know if it was a good idea though, because yesterday when i went swimming i felt my left calf cramping up, but need to get some basketball in! it turns out that my left calf was fine, after i did some stretching to warm myself up, but then my right calf was the one that gave me a hard time, i guess i should stretch more thoroughly next time.

on the way home from bayview and 16, i found myself going north to major mac without even realizing it, and i drove really slow when i passed the walmart, i guess sometimes memories are especially good if you hold on to them not too tightly.

then i went south on leslie, it felt just like yesterday when we took these routes together, with us trying to guess that miriam song (which i have yet to figure out) so fun...just driving along and having a good time. i even thought about going all the way to 19th, but i was too tired from ball, so just went down to hwy7 and went home...

it was a good and refreshing drive, and all along i had the window slightly opened, just to make sure that the winter air kept me from reminescing too deep, but its good sometimes to take a random stroll down memory lane, it helps me remember what i have right now and keep things in perspective....

nothing beats cruising down on an empty street in the middle of the night... well i guess having you there makes it that much better =D

separated...

today... even when i woke up, it didn't feel like just another day, although i knew why i was feeling that way, but i couldn't put my finger on what was wrong... so i just treated it just like another day...

after talking on the phone with you... then it suddenly hit me...after this day, you'll be gone, no longer can i just call you up and drive to walmart to chill or come out for dessert... i can't do that anymore...

today it felt like my spirit like it was separated from my body, couldn't really focus on anything that i was doing, like my mind was somewhere else... almost cut my own finger when making food... but for some strange reason i didn't want this feeling to go away... maybe because i'm afraid that if and when this feeling goes away, i'll be letting go of something... something that i don't want to let go...

thinking back... it felt like that the best time i've had in a long time was in an empty room with you... doing nothing at all...

only time will tell...

*too many typos in this entry... took me forever to make sure my fingers were typing out the words i wanted...


在你的房间内面, 时间停下来. 感觉很好, 不想离开.